Arnie Vs The IT Manager

Scene: Arnie is confronted by an ambitious I.T project manager who wants to move up the "corporate ladder".
Arnie grabs a chair with steel legs and impales the IT manager with it's legs. The manager is lying dead on the floor with a chair through him and a coworker walks up to Arnie and says:

Co-worker: What happened here?
Arnie (One Liner): "He just got promoted to CHAIRMAN!"

Arnie walks into Chinese Restaurant!

Scene: Arnie eats at a Chinese Restaurant with his friends and is at the counter to pay his Bill. The man behind the counter comes up wearing a white t-shirt with "BILL" written on it in RED.

Arnie: I would like to pay for my dish ONLY!
Chinese Guy: (Rude Tone) We don't SPLIT BILL here.

Arnie uses a chain saw and rips the man in half.

Arnie (One Liner) : "They do now!!"