tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-343181842011-06-07T23:25:13.839-07:00The Blog dedicated to "one-liners" that would suit Arnie !Monsier One Linerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15102848807124697488noreply@blogger.comBlogger51100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34318184.post-14063670545683734592007-07-25T07:58:00.000-07:002007-07-25T08:16:07.648-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bbsnews.net/bbsn_photos/topics/Timely_Figures/1004_G.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://bbsnews.net/bbsn_photos/topics/Timely_Figures/1004_G.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MANOHA%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.jpg" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MANOHA%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.jpg" alt="" /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/MANOHA%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-3.jpg" alt="" /><span style="font-size:78%;">Arnie is a cop being held prisoner in a room that is empty except for a chest of drawers. He opens the draws only to find a pair of AA batteries.<br /><br /><br />He puts one in each hand and waits for his captor to come in to see him. His captor arrives and as soon as he opens the door... Arnie jumps on him and shoves the batteries in his eyes and takes his gun. While the guy is rolling on the floor in</span><span style="font-size:78%;"> pain Arnie says:<br /><br /></span><div> </div> <span class="q" style="font-size:78%;"><p><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Arnie (One Liner): "<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">I hereby CHARGE you with assault and BATTERY!!"</span></b></span></p></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/34318184-1406367054568373459?l=arniesoneliners.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Monsier One Linerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15102848807124697488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34318184.post-1158277843024276782006-09-14T16:48:00.000-07:002006-09-14T16:51:40.676-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6610/3786/1600/rhs_arnold%2C0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6610/3786/320/rhs_arnold%2C0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Arnie gets setup on a blind date. What he doesn't know is that she is an undercover operator for the KGB and that Arnie is her next hit. </span><div><p><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;" >During the date she suddenly attacks him by flinging water into his face and picking him up and throwing him away from the table. He gets up and starts blocking her blows. While he manages to keep blocking her attacks, he gets pushed back into the kitchen. She picks up a knife from a bench and lunges at him. The only other thing he can see that is within reaching distance is a broom. He picks it up and trips her with it. She lets go of the knife and he catches it and immediately flings it right between her eyes.<br />He returns home.</span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></p></div> <div><span class="q" style="font-size:78%;"><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;" >His Friend: How did your date go?</span></span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span></div> <div> </div> <div><span class="q" style="font-size:78%;"><p><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;" >Arnie (One Liner): "<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">I swept her off her feet</span></b>"!</span></p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/34318184-115827784302427678?l=arniesoneliners.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Fagadelichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17736452686279441366noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34318184.post-1158197361845498312006-09-13T18:12:00.000-07:002006-09-13T18:43:17.220-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6610/3786/1600/Arnie%20race.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6610/3786/320/Arnie%20race.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Arnie is a race car driver and he is in the pits one day preparing for a race. Fernando Ferrero, a competing driver and world champion, walks over to Arnie and taunts him with boasts that he is unbeatable. Arnie gets mad and rips a pole out of the ground and stabs Fernando with it.</span><br /><br />Arnie (one-liner): <span style="font-weight: bold;">"You just won pole position"</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/34318184-115819736184549831?l=arniesoneliners.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Fagadelichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17736452686279441366noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34318184.post-1158131299359439922006-09-13T00:01:00.000-07:002006-09-13T00:09:05.493-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3467/3780/1600/114_-711700702-main.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3467/3780/320/114_-711700702-main.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><br />Scene: Arnie is confronted by an ambitious I.T project manager who wants to move up the "<span style="font-style: italic;">corporate ladder</span>".<br />Arnie grabs a chair with steel legs and impales the IT manager with it's legs. The manager is lying dead on the floor with a chair through him and a coworker walks up to Arnie and says:<br /><br />Co-worker: What happened here?<br />Arnie</span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:78%;"> (One Liner)</span></span></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:78%;">: <span style="font-weight: bold;">"He just got promoted to CHAIRMAN!"</span><br /></span></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/34318184-115813129935943992?l=arniesoneliners.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Monsier One Linerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15102848807124697488noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34318184.post-1158129854318924742006-09-12T23:39:00.000-07:002006-09-12T23:48:25.476-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3467/3780/1600/039_8636%7EArnold-Schwarzenegger-Posters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3467/3780/320/039_8636%7EArnold-Schwarzenegger-Posters.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:78%;">Scene: Arnie eats at a Chinese Restaurant with his friends and is at the counter to pay his Bill. The man behind the counter comes up wearing a white t-shirt with "BILL" written on it in RED.<br /><br />Arnie: I would like to pay for my dish ONLY!<br />Chinese Guy: (Rude Tone) We don't SPLIT BILL here.<br /><br />Arnie uses a chain saw and rips the man in half.<br /><br />Arnie (One Liner) : </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:78%;" >"They do now!!</span><span style="font-size:78%;">"</span><br /><br /></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/34318184-115812985431892474?l=arniesoneliners.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Monsier One Linerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15102848807124697488noreply@blogger.com0